In Defense of Aussie Wine

In Defense of Australian Wines

Fashions and fads, by their very nature, come and go almost overnight. This observation has special resonance in the wine world, where one day vintners are planting every hectare under their control with ultra-fashionable Merlot vines, and the next, ripping out the passé Merlot only to get the now-hip Pinot Noir vines in the ground. The trends are seldom rooted in reality, but usually sprout from the whims of an easily persuaded, and very fickle populace. Such is the case with the once-lauded-over, now-laughed-at Australian wines.

As few as three years ago, Aussie wine was the hottest juice in America (and not just because they are high in alcohol), driven by the so-called “critter wines” (i.e. wines with animals on their labels). But as their reputation for mass-produced plonk eclipsed their reputation for quality conscious fine wine, the industry lost its ability to command more than just a few dollars per bottle. As Americans began to realize that the Yellow Tails, Little Penguins and attach-your-cute-adjective-here Platypi they were swilling last year were no longer hip, the market for bulk Aussie wines in America tanked, taking along with it the family-owned, quality conscious producers as well.

Nowadays, the criticism of Australian wine seems to come in one of two forms: Old School snobbishness, and New School insecurity. The former is a snobbishness that is voiced mostly by cranky Francophiles (a group with which the author self-identifies) and other various sticks-in-the-mud. Aussie wine, or any new world wine for that matter, they argue, is inherently inferior to the style, grace and pedigree of the old world wines. These types complain about the exuberant fruit (“garish and banal”) and high alcohol (“pedestrian filth”) of Aussie wines, probably enjoy the smell of their own toe jam, and by complaining in such a fashion are most likely overcompensating for something.

As a side note, in the late 1800’s a microscopic bug called Phylloxera nearly wiped out the entire European wine industry by destroying most of the vines planted on the continent. It was found that North American rootstock was resistant to the louse, and so all of the most famous vineyards thoughout Europe were replanted with American rootstock. Phylloxera never hit Australian shores; so consequently, the Aussies have some of the oldest vines in the world, older than any in France (Sacre bleu!).

The latter complaint is more like the knee-jerk backlash against the critter wines that tanked the industry a few years back. Nowadays, it is usually coming from the insecure newbie, so concerned with not being lumped in with the tragically unhip still fawning over the silly wombat on a bottle of grocery store wine. The advocates of this brand of prejudice are coincidentally the same who cast off all Riesling as being “too sweet,” then proceed to down a half gallon of Dr. Pepper or frickin’ Sweet Tea with lunch.

Both of these attitudes are unfortunate, both for the families of quality-driven producers in Australia thinking of closing up shop, as well as for the complainers themselves. Those silly enough to adhere to either line of criticism are doing themselves an injustice in not reveling in what the wines have to offer in abundance: a particular type of warm, ripe fruit that can be found nowhere else in the world. But for those in the know (a group with which you can now self-identify) there is one bright side to the ridiculously fickle fashions and fads: just as the price of really high quality merlot dropped soon after Sideways debuted, the once-prohibitive price of some of the best Aussie juice has been similarly slashed, and it’s now possible to get in the driver’s seat of something really tremendous for under twenty bones. Highly recommended are any wines by d’Arenberg, Kaesler, Langmeil, and Glaetzer. All are super-premium, all world-class, and none have critters on their labels. The following wines are especially good values the author drank whilst writing this.
Woop Woop Shiraz 2008 ($11-13) - Silly name, excellent wine. Imagine taking the quintessential aromas and flavors of blueberry/plum (a blum) and polishing them to high gloss, then adding a hint of eucalyptic cola (a high quality cola – free-range, organic, hippy coop-cola), then making sure the result is super soft and juicy; that’s basically this wine.
Kaesler “Stonehorse” Grenache, Shiraz, Mourvedre 2006 ($17-18) - Earthy tobacco and mushroom (like the water after re-hydrating dried shitake) on the nose. If cherry and velvet ever had a love child, it was born in this wine. Succulent. After 45 minutes of air, there appears a new aroma, so woody and minerally, that can only be described as pencil shavings. Wow, long finish, too.